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The Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Ladies...First girlfriend ever, wtf do i do? Thread Rating: 70 votes, 4.89 average.  
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Spartan117
Joined: Jan 25, 2003

I LIKE TO FUCK MY RETARDED SISTER.

I just started going out with this girl a week ago, and its a long distance relationship. Ive gone on hundreds of dates, but never had a real relationship. Any suggestions of things that would be romantic? Comedy option: Punch her in the crouch? Any ladies who wanna give suggestions thats cool. Im 18 and she's 19 with plenty of guy experience. No she's not a slut, we're both virgins..

Nov 01, 2003: 18:10
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neutron
Joined: Feb 18, 2003

You kicked my dog!

how do you expect to be romantic when she is a long ways away?

Nov 01, 2003: 18:11
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ColinMoore
Joined: Aug 13, 2002


strength +10
charm +12
wonder +9

quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
Any suggestions of things that would be romantic? Comedy option: Punch her in the crouch?


Learn to spell?

Nov 01, 2003: 18:11
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Toilet Duck
Joined: Mar 27, 2002

Quack. Oh, and www.carbc.com.

Crotch?

Nov 01, 2003: 18:12
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UglyCrackBaby
Joined: Jan 10, 2003

Misanthrope Extraordinaire

send her flowers?

Nov 01, 2003: 18:12
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tony danzas ho
Joined: Aug 26, 2003


hey prettypretty, what's a nice boy like you doing in a girl like me?

judging from your custom title, you don't need any help with the fillies, if y'know what i mean

Nov 01, 2003: 18:12
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Sub Par
Joined: Jul 18, 2001


For the Dark Master

Send her an e-card. I hear chicks dig those.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:12
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Ferr
Joined: Sep 26, 2002



quote:
Toilet Duck came out of the closet to say:
Crotch?


He ment couch.

Punch her in the couch

Nov 01, 2003: 18:12
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Generic Superhero
Joined: Nov 09, 2000


And if you go, furious angels will bring you back to me.

quote:
Toilet Duck came out of the closet to say:
Crotch?


Couch?

Nov 01, 2003: 18:12
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Strudel Man
Joined: May 19, 2003

King of All Pastries

How do you punch someone in the crouch.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:12
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Fifthace
Joined: May 03, 2003



quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
Comedy option: Punch her in the crouch?

You'll have to aim low, dude.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:13
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Jadius
Joined: May 12, 2001


FISSION MAILED!

Get another one. The glory of e-dating is that you can e-cheat on as many i-women as you e-please.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:13
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Anaclisis
Joined: Apr 18, 2003


life is just one big petting zoo

Lots of drugs are probably the answer.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:13
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CgiBinLaden
Joined: Mar 11, 2001

Wordsmith

quote:
Strudel Man came out of the closet to say:
How do you punch someone in the crouch.


C key or 3 on your numpad.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:14
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Generic Superhero
Joined: Nov 09, 2000


And if you go, furious angels will bring you back to me.

quote:
Anaclisis came out of the closet to say:
Lots of drugs are probably the answer.


While punching in the crouch on the couch.

Generic Superhero fucked around with this message at Nov 01, 2003 around 18:17

Nov 01, 2003: 18:15
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Mayor Wilkins
Joined: Nov 18, 2002


I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away - "miniature golf."

quote:
Strudel Man came out of the closet to say:
How do you punch someone in the crouch.


Hold BLOCK and press LOW PUNCH.

This also works on their crotch if you so desire.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:15
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Nitram
Joined: Jul 30, 2003


There are currently 4 threads with the word girlfriend in the title on the first page.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:16
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Keebler
Joined: Aug 21, 2000


So are you the fat hairy dude in the e-relationship or is "she"?

Nov 01, 2003: 18:17
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Wraith
Joined: May 22, 2001


I'm not so bad, once you get to know me.

quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
long distance relationship...Any suggestions of things that would be romantic?...she's 19 with plenty of guy experience.


Hahahaha, she will cheat on you with someone who can actually fuck her in a matter of days.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:18
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Click O Rama
Joined: Dec 10, 2000


poaptherockband

quote:
Ferr came out of the closet to say:


He ment couch.

Punch her in the couch



You meant mint.

He mint couch.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:19
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Bob_teh_fish
Joined: Sep 09, 2001

fuckass

Jesus christ people, women are just people, not quatum computers or something. As long as you think before you act or say something you'll be fine. Jesus christ, she's not going to bite your head off.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:20
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Stealth Ninja
Joined: Sep 11, 2003


I think you are underestimating the stealthiness

Crown?

Nov 01, 2003: 18:20
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Wraith
Joined: May 22, 2001


I'm not so bad, once you get to know me.

quote:
Jadius came out of the closet to say:
Get another one. The glory of e-dating is that you can e-cheat on as many i-women as you e-please.


I really want to know what the word "E-dating" means.
Does it mean like dating, and when you're not together you talk over the internet?
Or is it hot-and-heavy Everquest IRC Drama "im rubbin you're tits" stuff?

Edit- That's exactly what I was wondering. When I hear "Long Distance" I assume it's just that they were dating and then she moved away, but they're still together. But it sounds like that's not the case.
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/

Wraith fucked around with this message at Nov 01, 2003 around 18:22

Nov 01, 2003: 18:20
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Lakitu7
Joined: Jul 09, 2001


Watch for spinys

Long distance.

Blow her brains out in Counterstrike? Zergrush her base in Starcraft? Balls and sticks in Yahoo Pool? Camsex?

Nov 01, 2003: 18:21
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Wraith
Joined: May 22, 2001


I'm not so bad, once you get to know me.

quote:
Bob_teh_fish came out of the closet to say:
Jesus christ people, women are just people, not quatum computers or something. As long as you think before you act or say something you'll be fine. Jesus christ, she's not going to bite your head off.


Especially when you're 18 and she's 19. People put way too much faith in relationships at that age, and so if you're both serious it's really, really hard to fuck up. I know people that age in relationships in which both of them has betrayed the other, and somehow they're still together. It's laughable, but true.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:21
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If One Were Two
Joined: Oct 09, 2003

I'm better than you.

If you've been on "hundreds" of dates, and out of all those women, not even one of them saw fit to enter into an actual relationship with you, then I don't think it really matters what you do at this point because it ain't gonna last long anyways.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:23
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Lump Shaker
Joined: Nov 20, 2001


Punch her in the pouch.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:25
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Zebadaiah
Joined: Jun 21, 2000



Since when was it ok to call a person you chat with on the internet your girlfriend? Jesus.

Oh and the "hundreds of dates" part seems sort of unlikely, to be honest.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:29
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Strudel Man
Joined: May 19, 2003

King of All Pastries

Lunch her in the punt.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:32
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CgiBinLaden
Joined: Mar 11, 2001

Wordsmith

quote:
Zebadaiah came out of the closet to say:
Oh and the "hundreds of dates" part seems sort of unlikely, to be honest.


I can get eight AIM windows open at MOST.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:33
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WarMonger
Joined: Jun 13, 2001


Oh my God, Bill "Dollar" Gates of Micro$oft is REAPING AMERICA'S MONEY!

Punch her in the poncho.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:34
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norelidd
Joined: Mar 21, 2003

Fuzz Norelid

this thread is now about punching women in the couch



looks like a knockout!

Nov 01, 2003: 18:35
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Santiago2
Joined: May 09, 2003

Monocle Mania

quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
I just started going out with this girl a week ago, and its a long distance relationship. Ive gone on hundreds of dates, but never had a real relationship. Any suggestions of things that would be romantic? Comedy option: Punch her in the crouch? Any ladies who wanna give suggestions thats cool. Im 18 and she's 19 with plenty of guy experience. No she's not a slut, we're both virgins..


Break up with her, chicks love that.

 dear god...don't breed. 

Nov 01, 2003: 18:36
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Zebadaiah
Joined: Jun 21, 2000



quote:
CgiBinLaden came out of the closet to say:


I can get eight AIM windows open at MOST.



Shit, it never even crossed my mind that he was talking about e-dates.


Nov 01, 2003: 18:37
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Toast!
Joined: Oct 14, 2003

o/~ made from the best stuff o/~

quote:
Zebadaiah came out of the closet to say:
Since when was it ok to call a person you chat with on the internet your girlfriend? Jesus.

Oh and the "hundreds of dates" part seems sort of unlikely, to be honest.


I too found this questionable. By dates, do you mean going out in a group of people, among whom is someone you asked to come along? Because that's not a date, that's a grade seven dance.

Scratch her behind the ears, I hear they like that.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:37
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Industrial
Joined: May 30, 2001


Sorry for the completely off topic post but do you play Mu Online? Because I grouped with a guy named Spartan117 after i PKed him and it seems like a pretty distinctive name.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:38
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tony danzas ho
Joined: Aug 26, 2003


hey prettypretty, what's a nice boy like you doing in a girl like me?

Nov 01, 2003: 18:41
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adorai
Joined: Nov 02, 2002

banned

i suggest punching her in the crouch

Nov 01, 2003: 18:42
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slashandburn
Joined: Dec 06, 2002

I saw WORTHLESS TROLL 2... and I loved it!

Take her out to a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant. Then shit your pants.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:42
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norelidd
Joined: Mar 21, 2003

Fuzz Norelid



and another

Nov 01, 2003: 18:46
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slashandburn
Joined: Dec 06, 2002

I saw WORTHLESS TROLL 2... and I loved it!

quote:
Wraith came out of the closet to say:
I really want to know what the word "E-dating" means.

slashandburn decided to show you this image:

Nov 01, 2003: 18:47
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Keshik
Joined: Oct 27, 2000


I should not be permitted to have a custom title of my choice because I AM A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! I NEVER post anything worthwhile... EVER! Someone PLEASE KI

Nov 01, 2003: 18:48
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Bizarro Toby
Joined: Apr 16, 2002


In my dimension, we know how to spell "deficit."

Girls don't like it when you post about their crouches on internet forums.

They like to keep intimate things, like their crouch and their beasts, private.

Nov 01, 2003: 18:54
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Lump Shaker
Joined: Nov 20, 2001


Girlfriends best friend hates me, your reaction is?

Nov 01, 2003: 19:04
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Bad Penny
Joined: Sep 12, 2003

I always come back to you.

quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
Ive gone on hundreds of dates, but never had a real relationship.


Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Nov 01, 2003: 19:06
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Antiorganic
Joined: Jul 13, 2003

Mad gay in the face.

I assume that by "long-distance relationship" you're using a euphemism for "I met her on the Internet."

God help you.

Nov 01, 2003: 19:06
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TheWevel
Joined: Apr 14, 2002

Send Help; Trapped in Stupid Factory

The more I look at the word "couch" the more it looks like something is wrong with it.

Nov 01, 2003: 19:20
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Zebadaiah
Joined: Jun 21, 2000



quote:
TheWevel came out of the closet to say:
The more I look at the word "couch" the more it looks like something is wrong with it.


Yeah, it's lacking an r.

Nov 01, 2003: 19:26
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lotsalag
Joined: Oct 02, 2003

lotsalag.net

haha this poor bloke has been slaughtered for making a typo :P

Oh well, I guess it serves you right for coming onto an internet forum such as this (let alone SA) and asking for relationship advice. Particularly when you say you have been on "hundreds of dates" but never had a serious relationship.

Sorry, but lying makes baby Jesus cry

Nov 01, 2003: 19:33
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RumGunner
Joined: Feb 05, 2003


No, not the love seat!

Nov 01, 2003: 19:35
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Kemp
Joined: Jun 16, 2002


Did your girlfriend see your custom title..?

Nov 01, 2003: 19:38
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Diznan
Joined: Jul 12, 2003


Personally I vote, punch her in the couch!

Nov 01, 2003: 20:01
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idioteq
Joined: Mar 25, 2001


HAIL TO THE CHIMP!

Introduce her to your retarded sister for some hot threesome action.

__________________

Nov 01, 2003: 20:03
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InternetGenius
Joined: Jan 23, 2003

Stonker

I RECOMMEND THE BUTT, DUDE. SERIOUSLY.

Nov 01, 2003: 20:04
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mof0 v2.0
Joined: Jul 08, 2001


girls like it when you have sex and then you say im going to cum in your mouth but she says no dont cum in my mouth and you say ok and then you punch her in the face and cum on her face she will probably be crying by now but thats ok because she is crying becuase shes happy

Nov 01, 2003: 20:15
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D13F00L
Joined: Apr 19, 2003

Banned for warez in ADTRW. Owe mole $10

quote:
Strudel Man came out of the closet to say:
How do you punch someone in the crouch.




Like this, idhiot

D13F00L fucked around with this message at Nov 01, 2003 around 20:21

Nov 01, 2003: 20:18
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Indignation
Joined: Sep 18, 2003

I'm a bit shy. So, right now, I'm imagining you in your underwear.

quote:
Fifthace came out of the closet to say:

You'll have to aim low, dude.



Yes, you would have to crouch to punch her in the couch.

Ouch!

If you do that, I vouch, she will be a grouch.

Nov 01, 2003: 20:30
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ToastyNark
Joined: Oct 22, 2002


Rape drugs work on everyone.

long distance relationships DO NOT = functional

Im 16 and Ive scored more poon than you have at the age of 18. kekekekeekeke omg

Nov 01, 2003: 20:50
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Drink-Mix Man
Joined: Mar 03, 2003


Uh-huh!

.

Drink-Mix Man decided to show you this image:

Drink-Mix Man fucked around with this message at Nov 01, 2003 around 21:10

Nov 01, 2003: 20:52
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l33td00d
Joined: Apr 15, 2003

l33t trader

quote:
tony danzas ho came out of the closet to say:
judging from your custom title, you don't need any help with the fillies, if y'know what i mean



Stick it in her ass.

Nov 01, 2003: 20:53
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Plate of Shrimp
Joined: Jul 07, 2003

yeah

This is somehow the funniest thread i read in days....

Nov 01, 2003: 23:32
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Riptor
Joined: Apr 13, 2003



Yeah me too

Nov 02, 2003: 00:02
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Adar
Joined: Jul 26, 2001


Leonard "J." Crabs in training!

quote:
Riptor came out of the closet to say:

I'd hit it (in the crouch, with a bat)

Nov 02, 2003: 00:29
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Meatface
Joined: Jul 15, 2003

Yeah, it's made of meat. The meaty kind.

Get off the forums and sexxor her up.



With the help of drugs.

(how do i punch crouch?)

Meatface fucked around with this message at Nov 02, 2003 around 00:53

Nov 02, 2003: 00:48
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TheLorax
Joined: Jul 24, 2003

I speak for the trees


Punch her from the pouch.

Nov 02, 2003: 00:50
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Kilburn
Joined: Oct 25, 2003

Apocalypse Child

quote:
TheLorax came out of the closet to say:

Punch her from the pouch.



FURRY.

Nov 02, 2003: 00:54
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fork banger
Joined: Jan 03, 2001



quote:
Plate of Shrimp came out of the closet to say:
This is somehow the funniest thread i read in days....


Same here, I'm in tears.

Nov 02, 2003: 00:55
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TheLorax
Joined: Jul 24, 2003

I speak for the trees

quote:
Kilburn came out of the closet to say:


FURRY.


oh no you din't

Nov 02, 2003: 00:56
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Yaos
Joined: Feb 21, 2003


I have had sex with over 5000 women and I am only 3 years old.

Nov 02, 2003: 00:58
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Shaunboyland
Joined: Apr 30, 2003

Deluxe Portal

punch her in the cooch?

Nov 02, 2003: 01:07
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jnz
Joined: Apr 19, 2002


Nov 02, 2003: 01:30
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Sputnik
Joined: Jul 20, 2003

Aha! You didn't count on my loyal army of prostitutes, did you?

.

Sputnik decided to show you this image:

Nov 02, 2003: 01:37
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Liface
Joined: Jun 17, 2001


I am Liface!

I swear to god, "punch her in the crouch" has made me laugh more than I have on the forums in... forever. I'm literally cracking up and hitting my head against the desk.

AAHAHAHAHAHA

Nov 02, 2003: 01:40
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MakaVillian
Joined: Aug 15, 2003


quote:
fork banger came out of the closet to say:


Same here, I'm in tears.



Thirded, goons have once again turned a peice of shit into gold.

Hmmm is "punch her in the crouch" going to become a new catchprase? Because that would be a-ok in my book.

Nov 02, 2003: 01:46
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CatWithWheels
Joined: Jul 15, 2003


Created By Science!

quote:
Keebler came out of the closet to say:
So are you the fat hairy dude in the e-relationship or is "she"?


Him: 'Hey let's talk on the phone!'

Her: 'Sry we dont have a phone becuz my mom sed she wuz sick of paying the bill so they disconnected it '

Him: 'Hey let's talk on this internet voice chat program!'

Her: 'Sry I dont hav a mic '

Nov 02, 2003: 01:53
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Anders
Joined: Dec 16, 2002

Screaming Swede

quote:
Shaunboyland came out of the closet to say:
punch her in the cooch?


You're a ballsy man.


That being said, pouchpunch.jpg is fucking hilarity.

Nov 02, 2003: 01:55
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Double Pegs
Joined: Apr 23, 2003

Smegma is like candy to me!

Ladies...first crouch ever, wtf do i punch it?

Nov 02, 2003: 02:02
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Geoffrois
Joined: Jan 03, 2001

You go tell the pope he's been sleeping in a hat for the past years now.

Nov 02, 2003: 02:04
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Mike G
Joined: Aug 04, 2004

blank title.

Brunch her in the pouch.

Nov 02, 2003: 02:11
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Taliesin
Joined: Aug 14, 2002


Don't jump!

Lunch her in the douche.


quote:
Mike G
Joined: Aug 05, 2004

hm there seems to be a porblem

Nov 02, 2003: 02:57
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Spartan117
Joined: Jan 25, 2003

I LIKE TO FUCK MY RETARDED SISTER.

This has turned into a great macro thread. BTW, she isnt an internet girlfriend folks. ANyone have any serious suggestions, example= Buy flowers? I need something original...

Nov 02, 2003: 03:02
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Captain Hamhock
Joined: Sep 13, 2003

Hamhock Captain.

quote:
Geoffrois came out of the closet to say:




wow I never knew the captain was a pot head.

Nov 02, 2003: 03:06
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Meatface
Joined: Jul 15, 2003

Yeah, it's made of meat. The meaty kind.

quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
I need something original...

Hyenas.



Girls fucking love those.

Nov 02, 2003: 03:13
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b0g
Joined: Jul 18, 2003

I hate www.genmay.com

NM

Nov 02, 2003: 03:18
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mister_gosh
Joined: May 24, 2002


code:
Crouch-Dash + Punch-Crouch (at the same time) to deliver a mighty blow (watch out for sub-zero's freeze attack though).


Got it off gamefaqs. Hope this helps.

Nov 02, 2003: 03:32
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BurnFEST
Joined: Jun 25, 2003



quote:
Mike G came out of the closet to say:
Brunch her in the pouch.


What's it like in the future?

Nov 02, 2003: 04:03
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Simplex
Joined: Jun 29, 2003


Did anyone say Cunch her in the prouch yet? Cause if not I got it.

Nov 02, 2003: 04:08
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AthenaEowyn
Joined: Jun 03, 2003

The believer is happy. The doubter is wise

quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
I just started going out with this girl a week ago, and its a long distance relationship.... Any suggestions of things that would be romantic? ... Any ladies who wanna give suggestions thats cool...


I don't want to be square, but I'm a lady, I'm in a long-distance relationship myself, and I can't make funny image macros (besides, you guys have done all the funny ones anyway--I'm laughing crazily here too) so I'm going to attempt to give some suggestions to the original poster...

Without knowing what she's into and what you're capable of, I'm going to have to be general, I guess. But you know both of these things that I don't know, so use them to do things that are personal. In my opinion, those things are the most romantic. But, generally speaking, I suggest things that a) let her know how you feel, b) make yourself a presence in her everyday/real life, and these things should c) make her smile. These could include letters, long e-mails, and presents, which I am sure you have already thought of.

I find letters very personal and romantic. I love it when my long-distance boyfriend sends me a long letter complete with his awkward caricatures in the margins, magazine clippings of things I'm interested in (for example, one time he included a photo of Meg Ryan that he defaced with pen because he knows I hate her), and of course pictures of himself. If you're not the kind of guy that puts your thoughts in writing well, this also takes the pressure off of you to write a stellar letter. If you are one of those guys, when you're not making typos, then it can only enhance the impact your letter has.

If she likes flowers, your idea of sending flowers is fine. If she likes plastic dinosaurs, send those. If she likes being punched...

I hope that makes sense. I've been celebrating Danarchy's birthday tonight and I'm a bit tired and loopy. Good luck with it, and thanks to the rest of you for making me laugh!

__________________
I'm going to say that Danarchy is my adopted Forum daddy, because that's who he is.

Nov 02, 2003: 04:32
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Anaclisis
Joined: Apr 18, 2003


life is just one big petting zoo

quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
This has turned into a great macro thread. BTW, she isnt an internet girlfriend folks. ANyone have any serious suggestions, example= Buy flowers? I need something original...


This thread is now about creating macros from what you say

Anaclisis decided to show you this image:

Nov 02, 2003: 04:48
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Meatface
Joined: Jul 15, 2003

Yeah, it's made of meat. The meaty kind.

quote:
Anaclisis came out of the closet to say:


This thread is now about creating macros from what you say
[img-btw.jpg]


Anaclisis, I love you.*




*not gay, but I do punch crouch.

__________________
Anaclisis fanboy.
blah blah blahbitty fucking blah

Meatface fucked around with this message at Nov 02, 2003 around 12:19

Nov 02, 2003: 11:38
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bitshifter
Joined: Aug 01, 2003


Holy FUCK, I havn't laughed so hard in a very, very long time.

God bless you all.

Nov 02, 2003: 11:59
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lordxoi
Joined: May 23, 2003



quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
This has turned into a great macro thread. BTW, she isnt an internet girlfriend folks. ANyone have any serious suggestions, example= Buy flowers? I need something original...


How was your sister? Is she available for 'play' dates?

__________________
MY SIG WAS NWS, BUT I CHOSE TO POST IT IN GBS. IF I DO IT AGAIN, I WILL ALSO CHOOSE TO BE BANNED.

Nov 02, 2003: 12:07
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Bonk
Joined: Aug 03, 2002



quote:
Bizarro Toby came out of the closet to say:
They like to keep intimate things, like their crouch and their beasts, private.
All he really has to do is find her Cletus and she'll be Patty in his Hans.

Nov 02, 2003: 12:08
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QTGurl19
Joined: Oct 30, 2003

How YOU doin?

Punch her in the grouch?

QTGurl19 decided to show you this image:

Nov 02, 2003: 12:20
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Spartan117
Joined: Jan 25, 2003

I LIKE TO FUCK MY RETARDED SISTER.

This has turned into my best thread ever. I thank you all

Nov 02, 2003: 12:29
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kru
Joined: Oct 05, 2003

Wants to be Van Halen

quote:
Anaclisis came out of the closet to say:


This thread is now about creating macros from what you say



Dude, are you from Bridge of Allan? :O

Nov 02, 2003: 13:15
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Riptor
Joined: Apr 13, 2003



Nov 02, 2003: 13:45
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Kemp
Joined: Jun 16, 2002


Kemp fucked around with this message at Nov 02, 2003 around 14:28

Nov 02, 2003: 14:20
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His Divine Shadow
Joined: Aug 07, 2000


"For the record I'd like to note that I spanked a 15 year old this weekend"-Sexual Predator

quote:
Strudel Man came out of the closet to say:
How do you punch someone in the crouch.


This whole crouch thing is highly lollable(godamn stupid 'lol' deriviatives, but what choice do I have?).

Nov 02, 2003: 14:26
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Cap N' Crunch
Joined: May 21, 2002


Rocky Top, you'll always be
Second in the SEC

sup eric

Cap N' Crunch decided to show you this image:

Nov 02, 2003: 14:27
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tony danzas ho
Joined: Aug 26, 2003


hey prettypretty, what's a nice boy like you doing in a girl like me?

Nov 02, 2003: 14:57
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Mayor Wilkins
Joined: Nov 18, 2002


I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away - "miniature golf."

Nov 02, 2003: 15:01
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Dyrnwyn
Joined: Apr 17, 2003


Go, go, Takezo!

Scrunch her in the mulch.

Nov 02, 2003: 15:08
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KublaKhan
Joined: May 18, 2003


XANADU!

quote:
Geoffrois came out of the closet to say:



hahah so damn funny

Nov 02, 2003: 15:56
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Angry Communist
Joined: Oct 10, 2003



I'm about to break!

quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
This has turned into my best thread ever. I thank you all


Nov 02, 2003: 16:03
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Kommienzuspadt
Joined: Oct 30, 2003

Mangaroo!

This is a pretty nice little thread, here.

Nov 02, 2003: 16:07
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El Drecko
Joined: Aug 25, 2003

Ancient Mariner

quote:
Mayor Wilkins came out of the closet to say:



OMG I can't stop laughing at this thread

__________________
"a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled" - Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

Nov 02, 2003: 16:13
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Contra
Joined: Aug 31, 2003

L(

quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
This has turned into my best thread ever. I thank you all




[edited for flavor and texture]

Contra fucked around with this message at Nov 02, 2003 around 21:41

Nov 02, 2003: 16:25
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MAGNUM FORCE
Joined: May 03, 2003


(fmrly "buttwurst", reg. date 01/02)

Punch the grouch on the couch in the crotch.

Better yet a bunch of grouches, grouses, lice and some mice. That would be nice.

Nov 02, 2003: 16:30
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DanSTC
Joined: Aug 05, 2002


Games forum slacker

Great thread. I thank you all.

Nov 02, 2003: 16:31
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MysticDuck?
Joined: Jun 10, 2001


U have mustard on your shirt.

Nov 02, 2003: 16:32
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DanSTC
Joined: Aug 05, 2002


Games forum slacker

Stick it in her Hooper.

Nov 02, 2003: 16:35
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TheAmazingGoat
Joined: Nov 15, 2000


Take a picture of yourself kneeling and then rotoscope a lightsaber in your hands and photoshop in the words "will you marry me"

Nov 02, 2003: 16:38
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ubergnu
Joined: Jun 07, 2002


Failed gothic

Nov 02, 2003: 16:38
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Aominux
Joined: Aug 16, 2003


IZ GONE RAIN

I really, really, REALLY like where this is going.

Nov 02, 2003: 16:44
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SirCoelacanth
Joined: Aug 19, 2003

The Coelacanth Will Rise!

Nov 02, 2003: 17:37
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Kaiser Bill
Joined: May 30, 2003


9/21/03-Time Travel Day. Will someone come?

So how did you meet her if you only met a week ago and she already lives far away AND you didn't use the internet?

Nov 02, 2003: 17:53
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Anaclisis
Joined: Apr 18, 2003


life is just one big petting zoo

Why don't you post again, eFriend

Nov 02, 2003: 18:01
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kru
Joined: Oct 05, 2003

Wants to be Van Halen

Bridge of allan ownage

Nov 02, 2003: 18:03
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Komet
Joined: Apr 03, 2003



Nov 02, 2003: 18:04
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Verl
Joined: Jul 25, 2003

Verliox Edward Robert Longfellow

so i dont understand..how do you punch someone in the crouch over the internet..

Nov 02, 2003: 18:11
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David Lo Pan
Joined: May 18, 2003

You were not put upon this earth to GET IT

Nov 02, 2003: 18:29
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DJ Sizzle
Joined: Jul 24, 2002


The real truth.........

DJ Sizzle decided to show you this image:

Nov 02, 2003: 18:59
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AZAE86
Joined: Jul 01, 2003

Hachi Roku

forgive me...

AZAE86 decided to show you this image:

Nov 02, 2003: 19:33
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hollykat
Joined: Mar 22, 2003



hollykat fucked around with this message at Nov 02, 2003 around 20:31

Nov 02, 2003: 20:22
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Your Boogie Man
Joined: Apr 01, 2003


This is everything a thread should be.

Nov 02, 2003: 20:27
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Apriori
Joined: Aug 25, 2002


Nov 02, 2003: 20:34
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KublaKhan
Joined: May 18, 2003


XANADU!

quote:
David Lo Pan came out of the closet to say:



Cool ... Testament. I used to have that CD.

Nov 02, 2003: 20:59
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bradmin
Joined: Mar 30, 2003


say more, the forums need food

Nov 02, 2003: 21:25
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Mighty Germ
Joined: Jun 29, 2002


SARS didn't work out as well as I'd hoped.

quote:
bradmin came out of the closet to say:
say more, the forums need food


Forum goon needs food badly

Nov 02, 2003: 21:35
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Angry Communist
Joined: Oct 10, 2003



I'm about to break!

quote:
Mighty Germ came out of the closet to say:


Forum goon needs food badly



without it, he will surely die.

Nov 02, 2003: 21:43
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Clouseau
Joined: Aug 03, 2003


Nov 02, 2003: 21:51
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Trash Heap
Joined: Dec 26, 2002

i got nothing right now

quote:
Keebler came out of the closet to say:
So are you the fat hairy dude in the e-relationship or is "she"?


That is actually hilarious.

Nov 02, 2003: 22:04
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Coretti
Joined: Oct 29, 2003

On Planet Shining

Nov 02, 2003: 22:11
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blueball
Joined: Sep 14, 2001


yeah

Nov 02, 2003: 22:43
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Contra
Joined: Aug 31, 2003

L(

Just had a thought. She's a virgin with "plenty of guy experience?"

Nov 02, 2003: 23:02
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Coretti
Joined: Oct 29, 2003

On Planet Shining

I think that means she's a cock tease.

Nov 02, 2003: 23:03
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idontcare
Joined: Jun 13, 2001


Nov 02, 2003: 23:25
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tardwrangler
Joined: Oct 02, 2003


quote:
Mighty Germ came out of the closet to say:


Forum goon needs food badly



lunch upon her paunch

Nov 03, 2003: 00:04
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Wonderpants
Joined: Aug 08, 2002


I'm giggling like a retarted schoolgirl.

P.S.-
punch her in the Ponch

Nov 03, 2003: 00:27
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Makoe
Joined: Jun 01, 2002

POLICE BRUTALITY! I'M A 15-YEAR OLD WHITE MALE SOCIALIST WHO LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS AND LISTENS TO KMFDM!!! RIP THE SYSTEM!

Punch her in the EMERGENCY PONCHO

Nov 03, 2003: 00:32
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stremph
Joined: May 21, 2001

Forum Veteran


A Vodou believer pours hot pepper-spiced homemade alcohol on her genital area, one of the key rituals during Gede, a Vodou holiday dedicated to Baron Samdi and the Gede family of spirits of the dead, while other believers, one clutching a miniature coffin, look on in the National Cemetery in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, on November 1, 2003, which is All Saints Day and is also the first of two days devoted to the Gede, who are feted for most of the month of November. One of themost important Vodou holidays in the country, but especially in the capital, Vodouists go to cemeteries to pray with food, coffee and peppered alcohol, to light candles and to put fresh flowers on graves, and then dance all night at 'peristyles' or Vodou temples. (AP Photo/Daniel Morel)

Nov 03, 2003: 00:52
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mister_gosh
Joined: May 24, 2002


Hay guys, just got back from MY date and thought of this thread. It was ok at the beginning, but she turned ugly on me:

quote:

calixtedesiree: hi
me: hi
calixtedesiree: how are you?
me: good and you?
calixtedesiree: m/f?
me: are you a bot?
calixtedesiree: where are you from?
me: dsgkjglk, be
calixtedesiree: me too! how old are you?
me: 600
calixtedesiree: wow! me too
me: really OMG?
calixtedesiree: what are you doing today?
me: having sex with coconuts
calixtedesiree: are you cute and single?
me: are you fat and poopy?
calixtedesiree: then come and mingle http://cuteandsingle.com
me: fuck you suck you bot fucke3r

Nov 03, 2003: 01:11
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Meatface
Joined: Jul 15, 2003

Yeah, it's made of meat. The meaty kind.

Scrunch her in the mulch.

edit: boobs.

__________________
Anaclisis fanboy.
blah blah blahbitty fucking blah

Nov 03, 2003: 01:52
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stab
Joined: Feb 11, 2003



quote:
David Lo Pan came out of the closet to say:
testament macro


good work, that's probably Testament's best artwork

Nov 03, 2003: 03:37
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Anaclisis
Joined: Apr 18, 2003


life is just one big petting zoo

what the fuck you fuck post some more

edi

Anaclisis decided to show you this image:

Nov 03, 2003: 03:45
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RavenTengu
Joined: Oct 24, 2000


quote:
Spartan117 came out of the closet to say:
I just started going out with this girl a week ago, and its a long distance relationship. Any suggestions of things that would be romantic?


Walk there.

Nov 03, 2003: 03:53
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Lacool
Joined: Jun 18, 2002



This can only end one way (not mine):

Lacool decided to show you this image:

Nov 03, 2003: 04:14
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Flit
Joined: May 05, 2001

Forum Veteran

quote:
AthenaEowyn came out of the closet to say:
I don't want to be square, but I'm a lady
Eh ?
quote:
one time he included a photo of Meg Ryan that he defaced with pen because he knows I hate her
I watched an episode of "Two Guys and A Girl" yesterday, and she said she hated Meg Ryan too. You're not the "Girl" from "Two Guys and a Girl" are you ?

The best advice for the original poster is to go the Seven route and send Meg Ryan's head in a box. Girls love that.

Also, put your pens in her ear.

Flit fucked around with this message at Nov 03, 2003 around 05:19

Nov 03, 2003: 05:15
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666
Joined: Jun 27, 2002


angst angst baby

quote:
stremph came out of the closet to say:

A Vodou believer pours hot pepper-spiced homemade alcohol on her genital area, one of the key rituals during Gede


Glad i live somewhere else.

Nov 03, 2003: 05:17
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Necro-tron
Joined: Jan 11, 2003


quote:
Flit came out of the closet to say:
Eh ?I watched an episode of "Two Guys and A Girl" yesterday, and she said she hated Meg Ryan too. You're not the "Girl" from "Two Guys and a Girl" are you ?

The best advice for the original poster is to go the Seven route and send Meg Ryan's head in a box. Girls love that.



Meg Ryan wasn't in Seven

Nov 03, 2003: 05:18
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666
Joined: Jun 27, 2002


angst angst baby

quote:
Necro-tron came out of the closet to say:


Meg Ryan wasn't in Seven



She'd look awfully good without her fucking head though.

Nov 03, 2003: 05:20
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Flit
Joined: May 05, 2001

Forum Veteran

quote:
Necro-tron came out of the closet to say:
Meg Ryan wasn't in Seven
She was a stunt double

Nov 03, 2003: 05:24
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